Sunday, 18 October 2009

Cow Calamities

I chatted to Farmer over the garden fence whilst the electric fencing was being checked. He had me cracked up with laughter as he recalled a few narrow escapes with his cows.

To move the cows to their summer pasture apparently can be hazardous, to cause the least confusion they make the move early in the morning to pass through a village. As usual, everyone's garden gates were checked to see if they were shut and look-outs were posted along the route. The cows amble through the village . . . . . . . suddenly a woman in a deep pink nightie tears out of her house, through her garden into the road shouting obscenities complaining her sleep had been disturbed. Ahah thought the cows an open gate and even better an open door into a house! Farmer had to sort out 70 cows confined in a small garden with several inquisitive cows trampling their way through the house!

Another calamity occurred when again the cows were being herded down a narrow lane. A motorist in a Ford Fiesta came upon the herd but instead of calmly waiting for the cows to amble past, the driver surged his way forward eventually grinding to a halt. The motorist wound down his window to loudly and rudely complain when all of a sudden the bull (a placid fellow I am told) came upon a nice scratching post and stuck his head through the car window. There were screams from inside the car as it was rocked too and fro with the windscreen falling out - the bull was having a good time rubbing his itchy head against the window frame. Farmer had to wrench the passenger door open and dive over both passenger and driver to push the bull out!

I must not laugh too loudly in case the cows decide to burst through into our garden - I would not be too happy!


Granny on the Web said...

...something about brawn wins here!

Sounds funny though.

Love Granny

Suburbia said...

Great stories! I envy you your rural life :)

We visited Westonbirt today, it is almost in your garden if I recall?!

Linda said...

Too funny, it served him right! Strong like bull always wins.

Leilani Lee said...

Oh what a hilarious story. Thanks for sharing this. I needed a good laugh today.

RockWallaby said...

Love hearing your stories of rural English life. So different to our rural existence.
Moving cows through villages! Unheard of.

Carol said...

Oh they were great....chortling whilst reading blogs is a good way to start the day :-)

C x

Liz said...

Oh dear! George found an open cafe kitchen door to wander into today!

Gill - That British Woman said...

oh the joys of living in the countryside. We don't see many cows out to pasture over here, they seem to have different farming methods here in Canada

Gill in Canada

Fr. Peter Doodes said...

I do love these experiences. I have Learned how to heard cows and grab sheep that have strayed onto roads around here, but as for the Fiesta driver story... wonderful.

PS. I recently had an email from a 'local' (incomer) complaining about the noise in the morning from the chickens in our village allotments!

Lindsay said...

Thanks all for your comments.

Suburbia - yes we are lucky to live where we do.

Rockwallaby - I like reading about your kids and cattle - such a different lifestyle you have.

Jackie B said...

A farmer was recently killed here when a fire engine driver decided their emergency (child trapped in car) meant they couldn't wait for the herd to walk from the field to the farm - a very short distance. He tore through the herd and because they weren't moving out of his way fast enough he put on the siren! Stampede resulted and 75 year old farmer was trampled to death by his own herd. Very tragic.