Wednesday, 2 July 2008

The most embarrassing thing that I did . . . . .

No photos for this one. About 35 years ago I was divorced and returned home to parents with young son. Joined Dateline. Went out with some very weird men - most of them wished to talk about their previous wives! One I remember had a Bobby Charlton hairstyle, a brown suit (I hate them) and a purple tie which he started wrapping round the steering wheel whilst driving (god knows why). Another chap was 5ft 4ins tall and I am nearing 6ft !

Eventually met a sheep farmer from Scotland - we both got on well and he did his level best to enjoy my interests. One day my Dad said "Don't put your eggs all in one basket" - so I looked at my computer sheet of four names (I had been too shy to make the initial contact) and decided to write to one - but which one - in the end I chose the one with the nicest sounding name! Eventually a letter (full of spelling mistakes) came back from Nice Name including a fab photo and I remember my mum, dad and myself (son eating rusks or something similar) pouring over this photo. The letter said he would drive down from London to see me. Well . . . . . . we hit it off from the moment we met.

Sheep Farmer and Nice Name had different methods of arranging their lives. Sheep Farmer would look at his diary and make a date. Nice Name would just suddenly ring up out of the blue and suggest we should go out that night. The inevitable happened. I had a date fixed with Sheep Farmer one Wednesday night - Wednesday afternoon Nice Name phoned and said he would be with me within the hour! By that time I liked Nice Name better than Sheep Farmer so I did the most terrible thing - I still remain deeply embarrassed.. . . . . . . . . .

I said yes to Nice Name and rang Sheep Farmer and told a whopper - my father had had a severe epileptic fit and had been rushed to hospital. Sheep Farmer said how sorry he was. I proceeded that night to see Nice Name.

The weekend arrived. It was very very hot. We had front door and garden door open to keep a breeze running through the house. All the family were in the garden sunbathing (son must have been toddling around). Doorbell rang and there on the doorstep was Sheep Farmer with a huge bouquet of flowers for me - he could see straight through the house into the garden where my father was in a very healthy condition for someone who had had a severe epileptic fit. Sheep Farmer with downcast eyes left never to be seen again. I later married Nice Name who is now Husband and we live happily ever after.

So Sheep Farmer if you read this blog - I am truly sorry for treating you so shabbily.

8 comments:

DulwichDivorcee said...

Oh Lindsay, what a lovely story. I'm so glad that you met your True Love and that it all worked out. I'm sure Sheep Farmer later met a Mrs Sheep Farmer of his own and forgave you - all's fair in love and war, as I keep telling myself!

Lane said...

What a brilliant story! I love stories like that, especially ones with big whoppers which misfire but have happy endings!
I can only imagine the embarrassment at having Sheep Farmer turn up unannounced!
I'm glad you married Nice Name. Having a nice name certainly helps:-)

pebbledash said...

Priceless story, thanks for making us all chuckle!!

Liz said...

Bad girl! Tee hee. So glad it all worked out well.

Mignon said...

Dang girl, Your ruthless. LOL. I was dating someone and I just moved without telling him. I've been feeling bad for 18 years now.

60GoingOn16 said...

Goodness Lindsay, I was doing much the same at much the same time, except that I had a small daughter. Sorry about Mr Sheep Farmer but at least you had a happy ending.

My favourites (only for the comedy value) were the Mexican psychologist, who was returning home to Mexico the very next day - for ever, (so why was he bothering?) and the 'magazine editor' who, in fact, produced a handprinted bulletin for stamp collectors. He came complete with bottle bottom glasses and was very, very short. We went for a drink and the whole experience was so embarrassing that I had to phone my flatmate to come and rescue me. She could barely suppress her laughter when she arrived and has never, ever let me forget.

No happy Dateline ending for me, I'm afraid. As a birthday card I sent my mum years ago said: 'No Mother, I haven't met Mr Right, but I have met Mr Cheap, Mr Rude and Mr Married.'

Lindsay said...

Sorry a Sheep Farmer did not come along for you!

Mopsa said...

What an exciting life you lead!